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i was actually talking about this with zak last night

yeah, like, clearly i am not skinny or really toned and like i eat and i don’t hit the gym or anything or like that

i slave away at my schoolwork and my performance work and my internship and my social life and i think it makes a lot of sense that when i stumble into my single dorm room after a long day or night and just like to lay on my bed and watch television and tumble and maybe i’ll order some food and eat it

i’m not defending my body because clearly i don’t need to

i’m just trying to figure out the politics and dynamics of my own life as they relate to my body composition

honestly, like, i have a lot of pride in my mind and my external achievements and my relationships

i associate working out with chasing body capital: trying to look better

like clearly it’s healthy but that’s never been motivation enough for me to do anything other than maybe the way i eat

i honestly feel like my body would look a whole lot “better” if i were more of a “loser” in other respects

that’s kind of silly

  1. cloudnoise said: hard important work I might cry at this I’m emotional
  2. likeapairofbottlerockets said: yes!
  3. alamentforb612 said: I think striving to eat health or be active is key - clearly you are trying to do both . Moderation is key bla bla . In the long run its better for your art and performance , if you’re healthy . Fuck being a gym bunny , though …
  4. teacakes said: as long as you recognize that bc you don’t really ever seem to complain about your body. being outwardly “fit” looking is a compromise of time and energy. spending it on other things is fine, like ndb. as long as you remain almond salad diva!!!
  5. lilylungs said: I think even the implication that something is wrong with your body is a little ridiculous and reaching the point of overly critical to a frightening degree.
  6. dustulator said: no ive said the same thing like if i wasnt consistently working or busy i guess my weight/shape would become a priority but like where i am rn is fine and tbh my body is not my success nor my career its not my focus to make it perfect for no reason
  7. harinef posted this